The Spirit Level - Beliefs are just Decisions in High Heels

This is something I came to learn very late in life, having never questioned my beliefs or my decisions. I’ve since found so many areas in my life where I blindly accepted that my beliefs just are what they are, fixed in time, and my decisions simply followed. Turning things upside down to get a different perspective, allowing myself to question things and decide again, has become such a valuable tool. I like to think of it as “curiosity with benefits”.

As young children, often before 7, we learn not only what to believe, but who to believe. We look up to people, our parents, leaders and whoever we think knows more than we do, not realizing that they have their own beliefs as well and as such, pass on what they feel is their truth. A parent that says “go to college so you can get a good job and have a happy life” is doing their best, based on what they believe to be true. It is not true for everyone. We think it’s set in stone, but that stone turns to sand and suddenly, by choice, the line is easy to erase.

Things that maybe were true then, may have ceased to be so now. What my younger self decided was “unsafe”, my adult body held on to for dear life as pure truth. And yet, decades and a bit later, are they still true for me? Sure, if I choose to believe they are, if I never ask the question, they will always be true. I’ve chosen to dig up those outdated beliefs to see what no longer stands. The questions I try ask myself regularly is the following:

What’s something that I assume to be true?

Do I remember making this decision or was it just “there”?

If the latter, who might this belong to?

Is this still true for me?

You’re allowed to change your mind, which in actuality can change your mindset. It’s like trying on an old pair of shoes, that once were comfortable but now pinch at the toes. They looked good once, and carried you through some of your best moments, but one day you realize that they aren’t you anymore, that comfort trumps style. Taking them off, not in shame, but in gratitude for where they’ve taken you. It’s okay to slip them off and wear something that lets you walk freely again. Like shoes, beliefs are meant to be worn, not worshiped. You can change them out at any time by simply deciding. Or, hell, go barefoot for a while!

If you’d like to dig further, using more tools from the shed, you could always choose to ask these questions as well:

“I believe this ‘thing’. Why?”

“When did I first feel this? What was happening at the time?”

“When did I ‘decide’ that was true for me?”

“What was it protecting me from at the time?“

“It served a purpose then, but is it still serving me now, or is it keeping me stuck?”

“Am I willing to let it go and choose something new?”

“If so, what is something that will empower me and aligns with who I am now?

Review, redefine and reset.

Thank you for reading.