Nostalgia. It's a beautiful soft, sepia-coloured word, isn't it? Comforting, cushioned and universally understood, although in terms of nuance, it punches way above its weight. Unlike terms that refer directly to longing, or regret, nostalgia isn't really about wanting to return to the past, or somehow have the past return to us, but much more subtly, it suggests a profound and meaningful gratitude that the past actually happened at all. Nostalgia has inherently soft edges. I

Closure. It's one of those words that sounds like it should solve something. Firm, clinical, faintly medical - the sort of word a doctor might use, or an estate agent. Somewhere between stitches and stitch-ups...It has the satisfying sound of a door shutting properly, seat belt fastened, an attaché case - closed and clicked. We reach for it constantly and perhaps a bit unconsciously. "I just need some closure..." "She never got closure..." "It gave me the closure I was lookin

It's that time of year again. Suitcases are being retrieved from the darkest corner of the loft, sunscreen checked for "use by" dates and bathing suits - scrutinized, discarded and unceremoniously replaced. Discussions are held in-household, asking why we left it so late to do almost everything, and promises are made around wholly unrealistic departure times for Gatwick airport. Meanwhile, other-peoples-photos are already beginning to arrive on your phone, with other-peoples-

Comparisons... just one more item, on an ever-expanding buffet of human habits, capable of turning a perfectly good morning into a very bad one, in the blink of an eye. We might wake up, feeling relatively chipper, coffee in hand, birds-a-chirping, hair acceptable, with a B+ for emotional stability. And then Wham!.. Your online scrolling uncovers some bloke you sort-of-knew at school, standing shirtless and barefoot in a Tuscan lemon grove, beside his perfect CEO wife who res

From a fairly young age, I always felt the need to choose a direction. A kind of path. A version of myself that made the most sense to whatever situation I found myself in. We moved around more than most, so adapting was a key skill I had to learn early. And once I chose that direction - once I rearranged my room to suit me, I set my personal sails to suit the local wind, the expectation was simple: stick with it, Vanessa. There was a comfort in that idea. One that I definite

I like looking up quotes. It is nice to see who wrote what and where it came from. As well as being little wordy gems, that represent "things I really wish I had said", quotes give us an anchor to a thought, or a state of mind - perhaps even a way to live life. Mostly, they are either clever or beautiful or deeply deep. And I think deeply deep down, we all crave a life that is quotable... Good quotes - the ones that resonate the deepest - engage us the mostest, because the p

In almost every film that involves the use of a map, there always seems to be a moment when one character looks around, stops the group and exclaims, “Wait… I recognise this.” It’s often a tree or a bend in the path, or some feature that painfully drags out the conclusion that everyone has just completed a giant, waste-of-timey circle. There is no sense of metaphor or philosophy here. It is entirely literal. How did we end up back here? It is generally framed as a cross betwe

Being still, looking, and listening activates the non-conceptual intelligence within you. Let stillness direct your words and actions. ~Eckhart Tolle The world is testing our mental soundness. Fueled by the dramatic and life-changing weather patterns, coupled with disinformation and misinformation propagated by mass media, the collective atmosphere has thrown many off-kilter and left many feeling out of sorts. Yet, the quest for Equilibrium is always present, and a quiet call

I think we are all sufficiently familiar with the concept of 'conservational re-wilding', for the subject not to require a lengthy intro. In an eco-nutshell, it's designed to help prevent species extinction and restore balance to our ecosystems that have suffered as a result of human activity. We have priotised control over nature for centuries, with a rather obvious disrespect. So how is that all going? Humans love dominance. It's in the soup of our DNA. The rank of an indiv

February 14th arrives with its familiar gestures of ribbon-wrapped chocolates and things to do, just for two. Everywhere you look, love is presented as something to be given, something to be received, something that must come from somewhere outside of self. But what if this year, you made the decision, that love was going to dress a little differently? Oscar Wilde wrote "To love yourself is the beginning of a life-long romance". He had a point, you know. What if the most mea

This week, most calls to most restaurants on planet earth, will involve a simple request. "Could you do a table for 2 please".. From posh hotels to the corner curry house the world over, staff have already begun a giant redesign. A choreography of furniture configuration to suit that once-a-year waltz of Valentine’s Day, when the world re-arranges itself, into dining halls made for two. Firstly, I am not setting out to undermine the feast and fest of St Valentine. I am simply

"To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance". Oscar Wilde When asked why I did not write about relationships, I thought, but I do. Everything I write is about ‘relationships.’ Not in the traditional sense of couples or coupleship, but every interaction is related to something or someone. So I pondered, and here’s what emerged. We are connected to all things: friends, family, coworkers, animals, nature, the world, and ourselves. Being a part of a

There is a particular kind of lonely discomfort that comes with one-sided friendship maintenance. I mean it's certainly better on paper than having "no one at all" - hopefully none of us know the depths of that sorry pit. It comes more from actually having people - important friendships with

Being single on Valentine's Day, is not everyone's dream scenario. We are bombarded with noisy, brass band-volume messaging around the normal of being smack in the middle of chocolate box relationship land, where heart-shaped balloons are such fun , and a piece of heart-shaped toast pops out of the hearty toaster and you both giggle at the sweetness of it all. Valentine's Day sucks so badly for some of us, that it has an actual negative, psychological effect. Of course Sain

In the world of romantic relationships, grasping the concept of attachment can truly transform how couples connect. Attachment theory, proposed by John Bowlby and further expanded by Mary Ainsworth, illustrates how our early caregiver relationships shape our emotional connections as adults. Let's explore together some ideas around attachment.. We are going to examine four main attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—and how these styles affect couples, i

Red roses. Valentine’s Day. Floral messaging that has no room for manoeuvre or misconstrue. Important, perhaps becasue our February 14th intentions need to be absolutely legible. Our designs and desires must have clarity and meaning. The red rose then, is a comfortably predictable symbol, bought and sold by the dozen. In fact, 250 million red roses are produced globally, for this day alone. Beautiful, classic, fully unmistakable. Even if we feel that a red rose is actually st

“Take a deep breath". ..It ’s rarely said before something pleasant. We say it before the needle goes in. Before "the conversation". Before the bill arrives. Before we brace ourselves for "the good news or the bad news" and anything else we supsect we won't enjoy at all. It’s a phrase that assumes impact. A small hand-on-the-shoulder, before something uncomfortable happens. Which is curious, when you think about it. Because breathing deeply is one of the most beneficial thing

There is a moment most of us recognize, even if we don’t yet have words for it. It comes before the decision. Before the plan. Before the next chapter announces itself clearly enough to be named. It’s a life-affirming moment, where nothing is technically wrong, and yet something quietly asks for attention. It's a space that needs to be filled. Not with added responsibilities or new hobbies, but with gentle, wholehearted purpose. Soulstice Immersion, September 26 - October 10

Many of us tend to have a dim view of February. It really does seem to be the black sheep of our calendar. Short-changed on day numbers, an awkward ending to the cadence of that rhyme to remember - "30 days hath November" - it feels like the month that also ran - the racing term for runners and riders that were not really worth a real mention.But let's forgive the slightly gawky floundering of February. It was never a month designed to feel like such a fly in the hearty, w

I'm tired... Not from having stayed up late or not had enough sleep. Not that kind of surface-tired. A sort of "inner fatigue" that I am feeling on a deeper level. We recently said goodbye to some "interesting" house guests. We sort of knew they would be, and we both felt fore-warned. We seemed to start "managing oursleves" before they had even got out of the car...