February - The Return of "Want"...

Many of us tend to have a dim view of February. It really does seem to be the black sheep of our calendar. Short-changed on day numbers, an awkward ending to the cadence of that rhyme to remember - "30 days hath November" - it feels like the month that also ran - the racing term for runners and riders that were not really worth a real mention.But let's forgive the slightly gawky floundering of February.

It was never a month designed to feel like such a fly in the hearty, winter soup.

In the original Roman calendar, it was the last month of the year - the ancient Italians began their day count on the Kalends of March 1st. February, the end of the year, was the time of an administrative clean-up before anything new was allowed to begin again. The month for settling accounts, clearing residue, and performing rituals of purification called Februa, which included near naked men running around with whips, striking (apparently willing) females who exposed their flesh to be painfully blessed by the Gods of fertility.

Which may explain why February still feels the way it does.

We treat January as the grand opening now — resolutions, declarations, fresh starts — but emotionally, February on Platform 13 actually feels more like the beginning. Things start to get looser. Energy starts to return. The pressure to be “all singing and dancing” wears off, and what’s left is something a bit more honest. No planners or personal banners, February re-introduces an appetite for the year ahead. January has us as festive survivors. February has us checking back in.

The Celts referred to this time of year as Imbolc, from the Old Irish i mbolg — “in the belly.” It was their way of acknowledging that life had begun again, just not in any visible or particularly impressive way. Growth was happening internally, proof would come later. Which feels like a fairly sensible way to think about February, and about wanting something before you know what to do with it.

The want that returns with the beginning of dear old Feb, lets us know that something is no longer winterised and in hibernation. Systems are coming back on line. Our fridges lose weight and we start to re-express quiet preferences and mild curiousity. A return of interest although we are still a bit unsure about what we are interested in. A holiday, perhaps. Or something..

That sense of wanting something is the entire point of February. It doesn't mean that we are necessarily unhappy with life, it just means we are startung to pay attention to it. What are we looking for, now we have stopped bracing ourselves.

We can choose to be grateful for the arrival of February, this liminal month. It doesn't require us to decide too much, to figure out who we want to be this year. It just asks us gently to what we are feeling drawn to. Let the want sit down and tell us what it has to say, before we turn another month into another project.

February doesn’t need defending, or fixing, or reframing into something more productive. It’s doing exactly what it was designed to do. Clearing the noise. Letting appetite return. Reminding us, quietly, that wanting is not a character flaw but a sign of circulation. If January insists on improvement, February merely suggests attention, which, historically speaking, is probably the wiser instruction.