From a fairly young age, I always felt the need to choose a direction. A kind of path. A version of myself that made the most sense to whatever situation I found myself in. We moved around more than most, so adapting was a key skill I had to learn early. And once I chose that direction - once I rearranged my room to suit me, I set my personal sails to suit the local wind, the expectation was simple: stick with it, Vanessa. There was a comfort in that idea. One that I definite

I have always loved books of quotes. They sort of sit for me, in that realm of "things I just really wish I had said". Mostly because they are either clever or beautiful or deeply deep. And I think deeply deep down, we all crave being thought of as any of those things. Good quotes - the ones that resonate the deepest - engage us the mostest, because the psychology within them connects directly with how our grey matter processes good information and worthy feelings. Our brains

I n almost every film that involves the use of a map, there always seems to be a moment when one character looks around, stops the group and exclaims, “Wait… I recognise this.” It’s often a tree or a bend in the path, or some feature that painfully drags out the conclusion that everyone has just completed a giant, waste-of-timey circle. There is no sense of metaphor or philosophy here. It is entirely literal. How did we end up back here? It is generally framed as a cross bet

Being still, looking, and listening activates the non-conceptual intelligence within you. Let stillness direct your words and actions. ~Eckhart Tolle The world is testing our mental soundness. Fueled by the dramatic and life-changing weather patterns, coupled with disinformation and misinformation propagated by mass media, the collective atmosphere has thrown many off-kilter and left many feeling out of sorts. Yet, the quest for Equilibrium is always present, and a quiet call

Everyone makes mistakes. We recognise them on a bit of a sliding scale of real-time . Often they are seen immediately as glaring errors of judgement, sometimes only after months or years of emotional, financial or physical investment, give way to a proportionate sense of "Ooops".. and of course, an important learning and growing opportunity. A mistake is something we generally only recognise after the fact.  It's often accompanied by a "wake-up" moment - both literally and fi

I have always admired strong women. The ones who hold things together. The ones who don’t panic. The ones who say, “It’s fine, I’ve got it,” and somehow do. The women who show up, not just as a statement of bravado, but as proof of real life. I have also been one. At times. I am clearly not talking about lifting weights here - at least not physical weights. I am leaning into character strength. Core values. That kind of strength, in its healthiest form, is a thing of beauty.

Guest Writer - Dr. Stephanie Burchell Take a second to look at everything in front of you right now. If you’re like me, you’ve got at least a few browser windows open (each one loaded with tabs you “ need ”). Your email inbox is steadily filling up in the background. Teams keeps popping up messages from different teammates. And of course, your phone… In other words, you’re multi-tasking. The problem is, there’s no such thing as multi-tasking! As multiple studies have confirm

I think we are all sufficiently familiar with the concept of 'conservational re-wilding' , for the subject not to require a lengthy intro. In an eco-nutshell, it's designed to help prevent species extinction and restore balance to our ecosystems that have suffered as a result of human activity.

February 14th arrives with its familiar gestures of ribbon-wrapped chocolates and things to do, just for two. Everywhere you look, love is presented as something to be given, something to be received, something that must come from somewhere outside of self. But what if this year, you made the decision, that love was going to dress a little differently? Oscar Wilde wrote "To love yourself is the beginning of a life-long romance". He had a point, you know. What if the most mea

This is a series close to my heart. Literally!! Knowing our emotive fitness level, how to measure it and, more importantly… how do we get fitter? I recently experienced one of those early-morning phone calls that just knocked me off center. It was way too early, and the caller was choosing not to be very "pleasant". My heart rate rose, the cortisol started flowing, my body tightened and my breath went shallow. All before my first sip of coffee. What I didn’t realize at the t

In the world of romantic relationships, grasping the concept of attachment can truly transform how couples connect. Attachment theory, proposed by John Bowlby and further expanded by Mary Ainsworth, illustrates how our early caregiver relationships shape our emotional connections as adults. Let's explore together some ideas around attachment.. We are going to examine four main attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—and how these styles affect couples, i

"He started it..." Perhaps this is my earliest memory of me telling my side of the story. The instinctual, defensive DNA, with which we come into the world. I think we might be born wanting the facts straight. The imbalance of truth and blame perception, is the stuff of childhood panic attacks. On the surface, we actually care about needing the footnotes to be correct. The narrative accounts balanced. To intensely dislike being cast as the villain.  This, it turns out, is

Vanessa is American. Her entire family is American, as is her accent, her passport and most of her cultural references. Yet she says she doesn't "feel it" any longer. This makes me sad. We English feel that national identity (not Nationalism) represents a central value - not a totally defining one - but nonetheless a solid sense of tribe, to which humans have been hardwired, since the dawn of people.

I'm tired... Not from having stayed up late or not had enough sleep. Not that kind of surface-tired. A sort of "inner fatigue" that I am feeling on a deeper level. We recently said goodbye to some "interesting" house guests. We sort of knew they would be, and we both felt fore-warned. We seemed to start "managing oursleves" before they had even got out of the car...

The impact of Technology, Social Media and Screen Time on Mental Health - Dr. Stephanie Burchell

I’ve read many letters addressed to "my younger self" — tender reassurances around forgiveness, written backwards in time. They traditionally offer consolation, advice, and love to our former child—the one who felt unseen and misunderstood. There is a big hug and a loving lullaby to be less hard on yourself. These messages in the rear-view mirror are often kind and always well-intended. But they tend to lean into the (slightly) pompous clarity of hindsight. On reflection, ev

I used to love that day in school, when we were given a brand new writing book. It was a thing of mint, undefiled beauty - filling us with a quiet, focused determination to write really nicely. To do really well. I mean, OK, we were easily pleased back then, but there was still an undeniable thrill which - to this day - draws me helplessly to the pen and ink of the stationery shop. New books, new beginnings, New Years. They are all versions of a familiar and robust re-set. T

Mirrors aren’t always about what we need to fix — sometimes they show us how far we’ve come. I have used mirrors as a decorating accessory for years, to bounce light around a room, to open up a space or bring the outside in. But it wasn't until I began using them for personal growth that they took on a different meaning. We’ve all had that moment when we look into a mirror and find that new line, that little dot that no one else would every notice, but seems enormous to us. S

Out of the 65,000 thoughts we have a day, 95% are largely sub-conscious. How many of those are kind reflections, and how many are deeply critical? Well, that is difficult to know, simply because of the very nature of the “sub” conscious. Pause for a moment… What are you thinking right now? What little tiny flash did you just have? Was it gentle and loving or carry a hint of judgement?

I have heard many versions of "They say it takes... (think of a number)... days," to form or break a habit . The number being determined according to who you are standing beside at the bus stop. Also, "They" might be a "Them" as the number keeps changing, being strung between "7 days", "28 times", "3 months", "up to a year" and "just twice"... Ah..here comes the bus. Thank God...