Take a second to look at everything in front of you right now. If you’re like me, you’ve got at least a few browser windows open (each one loaded with tabs you “ need ”). Your email inbox is steadily filling up in the background. Teams keeps popping up messages from different teammates. And of course, your phone… In other words, you’re multi-tasking. The problem is, there’s no such thing as multi-tasking! As multiple studies have confirmed, true multitasking—doing more than o

If January is all trumpets and resolutions, asking too much, too soon, and February is the long, quiet endurance in the middle, what does March mean? It certainly doesn't feel like a total beginning, but it definitely seems like a bit of a hinge month. A calendar-page threshold, finally reached. Maybe March presents more like a menu - to the return of a subtle, un-named appetite for life. The first of this month arrived - at least it did on Platform 13 - with the same reali

Somewhere along the way, we took the word intimate for a long walk. We led it out of philosophy, psychology, and human experience, and ended up folding it neatly in a drawer, labelled - " Reserved - Date Night"... But why even take this subject on, when we seem quite happy for it to describe what we take off? Is intimacy all about the bodies beneath the clothes, or the self beneath the surface?

This is a series close to my heart. Literally!! Knowing our emotive fitness level, how to measure it and, more importantly… how do we get fitter? I recently experienced one of those early-morning phone calls that just knocked me off center. It was way too early, and the caller was choosing not to be very "pleasant". My heart rate rose, the cortisol started flowing, my body tightened and my breath went shallow. All before my first sip of coffee. What I didn’t realize at the t

There is a particular kind of lonely discomfort that comes with one-sided friendship maintenance. I mean it's certainly better on paper than having "no one at all" - hopefully none of us know the depths of that sorry pit. It comes more from actually having people - important friendships with

Being single on Valentine's Day, is not everyone's dream scenario. We are bombarded with noisy, brass band-volume messaging around the normal of being smack in the middle of chocolate box relationship land, where heart-shaped balloons are such fun , and a piece of heart-shaped toast pops out of the hearty toaster and you both giggle at the sweetness of it all. Valentine's Day sucks so badly for some of us, that it has an actual negative, psychological effect. Of course Sain

In the world of romantic relationships, grasping the concept of attachment can truly transform how couples connect. Attachment theory, proposed by John Bowlby and further expanded by Mary Ainsworth, illustrates how our early caregiver relationships shape our emotional connections as adults. Let's explore together some ideas around attachment.. We are going to examine four main attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—and how these styles affect couples, i

"He started it..." Perhaps this is my earliest memory of me telling my side of the story. The instinctual, defensive DNA, with which we come into the world. I think we might be born wanting the facts straight. The imbalance of truth and blame perception, is the stuff of childhood panic attacks. On the surface, we actually care about needing the footnotes to be correct. The narrative accounts balanced. To intensely dislike being cast as the villain.  This, it turns out, is

“Take a deep breath". ..It ’s rarely said before something pleasant. We say it before the needle goes in. Before "the conversation". Before the bill arrives. Before we brace ourselves for "the good news or the bad news" and anything else we supsect we won't enjoy at all. It’s a phrase that assumes impact. A small hand-on-the-shoulder, before something uncomfortable happens. Which is curious, when you think about it. Because breathing deeply is one of the most beneficial thing

There is a moment most of us recognize, even if we don’t yet have words for it. It comes before the decision. Before the plan. Before the next chapter announces itself clearly enough to be named. It’s a life-affirming moment, where nothing is technically wrong, and yet something quietly asks for attention. It's a space that needs to be filled. Not with added responsibilities or new hobbies, but with gentle, wholehearted purpose. Soulstice Immersion, September 26 - October 10

I'm tired... Not from having stayed up late or not had enough sleep. Not that kind of surface-tired. A sort of "inner fatigue" that I am feeling on a deeper level. We recently said goodbye to some "interesting" house guests. We sort of knew they would be, and we both felt fore-warned. We seemed to start "managing oursleves" before they had even got out of the car...

The impact of Technology, Social Media and Screen Time on Mental Health - Dr. Stephanie Burchell

We say “thank you” a lot. Often with great sincerity, sometimes as a polite acknowledgement of a door held open or receiving a handful of change. Silence would just feel rude. It's a nice thing to hear and a good thing to say. We also, on occasions, use a clippy catch-all in the form of a neat little phrase: "Thanks for everything." It's a generous sentence, at face value. Broad, inclusive, hard to argue with. And yet it can leave behind the fantest whiff of disssatisfaction

"Did you have a good Christmas and New Year?".. I mean, that is about as soft, low risk enquiry as we could possibly be asked at this time of year. It's almost so seasonal, that we could wear it as a sign around our necks so we can avoid even saying the actual words.. It's a verbal handshake. No sharp edges. Not a trick question. At all. "Yes, thanks..we didn't do much; long, lovely dog walks, too much to eat and some catch-ups with a few dear friends... You?".. The answer is

As I was typing the title of this piece, my spelling of "Sacred" auto-corrected to "Scared".. Which seems like a good point to jump in... Personal space is often misunderstood. The dictionary (yes, we still have one on the shelf) defines it as " the physical space immediately surrounding someone, into which encroachment can feel threatening or uncomfortable . Scared, almost.

Somewhere around the two-week mark, January starts to itch. The pristine list of resolutions is still magnet-fast on the door of our fridge, exactly as we wrote it. The intentions are still there, yet you perhaps suspect that enthusisam might be trying to call a cab. New Year confidence - " this time will be different" - has been replaced by something more familiar: realism.

I used to love that day in school, when we were given a brand new writing book. It was a thing of mint, undefiled beauty - filling us with a quiet, focused determination to write really nicely. To do really well. I mean, OK, we were easily pleased back then, but there was still an undeniable thrill which - to this day - draws me helplessly to the pen and ink of the stationery shop. New books, new beginnings, New Years. They are all versions of a familiar and robust re-set. T

Mirrors aren’t always about what we need to fix — sometimes they show us how far we’ve come. I have used mirrors as a decorating accessory for years, to bounce light around a room, to open up a space or bring the outside in. But it wasn't until I began using them for personal growth that they took on a different meaning. We’ve all had that moment when we look into a mirror and find that new line, that little dot that no one else would every notice, but seems enormous to us. S

Out of the 65,000 thoughts we have a day, 95% are largely sub-conscious. How many of those are kind reflections, and how many are deeply critical? Well, that is difficult to know, simply because of the very nature of the “sub” conscious. Pause for a moment… What are you thinking right now? What little tiny flash did you just have? Was it gentle and loving or carry a hint of judgement?

I have heard many versions of "They say it takes... (think of a number)... days," to form or break a habit . The number being determined according to who you are standing beside at the bus stop. Also, "They" might be a "Them" as the number keeps changing, being strung between "7 days", "28 times", "3 months", "up to a year" and "just twice"... Ah..here comes the bus. Thank God...